Wednesday, December 10, 2014

ME: I won't think of it tomorrow


A flight –
It wasn’t – just a dream.
I didn’t burn my wings
Reaching to the sun!
I drowned them in the mud –
The ground I never even left…

I thought of it today,
I’ll think of it tomorrow,
How was I the last to know
How far you’ve gone?

I thought of it today,
I won’t think of it tomorrow,
Enough of this –
I’m all drained of my sorrow!


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

ME: And she was his


He had her –
not friend but a mistress.
And she was his –
to hold but not to keep,
for he – for her
love had never felt.
And she was his –
to toy and toss away
when the morning twitters came,
to lock her in the deepest pit
until the yearn came back at night,
until he needed flesh to feed his life.

And she was his –
nothing but a doll -
her heart was torn apart
and her eyes were black with night,
her bones were aching  lonely,
her blood – frozen clogs amid her brain.

And she was his,
but hers – no more…
And she was hurt
but couldn’t walk away.
And she was his
until the fire took her in
and Death freed her away.


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

ME: Invisible (not really a poem, but a gasp in verse format)























“Home!” –
she sighed in relief
as she closed the door behind her!
But it lasted only for a second.
Only so much it took
for her reality to sweep under the door
and fill the room with emptiness.

It wasn’t hers!
And it was empty.
It was so far away
from what she knew
                               and loved…
The loneliness had clenched its fingers
Around her neck and no door
could separate them.
The cold had entwined with her hair
and would lurk through the night.
The darkness would hide in the corners
                               and under the bed,
but would never completely disappear
                               or dissolve.
The silence would whisper in her ears
                               and shout in her dreams.

But at least the others –
the others weren’t there to see her anymore!
That’s all that was important at the moment!
She’d make friends with her demons.
She’d talk to them,
read to them,
bed with them -
become part of them,
but at least no one else was around…
With their fake concerns,
with their accusations,
with their watching eyes…

At least there she was invisible!


Friday, November 7, 2014

МЕ: Да те моля нямам сили


Искам да те моля, а не мога.
Наместо - пиша ти за свойта самота.
И пак се будя нощем да усетя
безкрайната ни, вечна празнота.
И пак ти пиша – значи моля…
Но истинска ли е,
ако измолена е обичта?
Освен да пиша и сама не зная
веч какво да сторя, как да се спася.
Ще пиша, а пък кой ли ще го види
и има ли значение, уви?
Написаното лесно се изгаря,
а споменът остава да гнети.


Thursday, November 6, 2014

ME: Set my wings on fire


You’ve set my wings on fire
Every night you saw me cry
You’ve let them have me
And on my soul they prey.

Ride the tears I’ve shed
As a river through oblivion
Lock away the sunrays
Don’t burn your eyes away.

Stay where you are,
Don’t move and let it die,
Embrace the pain for once
And with it slip away into the drain.

ME: Поредно безименно


Когато моя мъничък свят се разпадне,
А навън се случват толкова по-страшни неща,
Когато утеха и помощ вече не търся,
Когато намирам щастие сама с мойта тъга,
Когато очите не виждат вече нищо напред,
И когато душата боли да се връща назад,
Когато го няма изходът търсен, мечтан,
Затворен оставаш в своя собтвен зандан.

Когато светлините угаснат
И актьорите се пръснат по своите места,
И когато нямаш ключ от вратата,
Към която си гледал устремено в нощта,
Залутай се сам и далечен,
Със своята болка приятел бъди,
Никое зло само няма да дойде,
Почакай, но все така ще боли.

Monday, November 3, 2014

ME: За какво ми е вятър в платната?



За какво ми е вятър в платната,
Ако няма звезда да ме води
По пътя към дома
И да ми дава пососка
И малко утеха
Със студената си светлина?

За какво ми е вятър в платната,
Ако нямам компас да ми сочи
Към пристнището и брега,
Където си ти,
където ме чака и любовта,
ако изобщо ме чака и тя?

За какво ми е вятър в платната,
Ако нямам котва да ме спре,
В залива и да ме спаси
От бурите в безбрежността
И да удържа поривите диви
На изгубилата се душа?


Sunday, September 28, 2014

ME: The nightmare


I hear your words
as gunshots -
whispering in my ear,
piercing through my brain
leaving me numb
on the bottom of the tub.

I see your eyes
like needles of glass -
knitting in my heart,
opening my veins,
draining my blood
on the floor of your days.


ME: Mono world


In your mono world
I was the color,
erased with the water
of my own tears.

I hope you are happy
in your 2D universe,
once I’m gone
forever into the void.

I wish I could
sneak in a brush
into your life
and paint you a heart.

But I know now
these dreams are all empty
I’m diluting away
erased by you – heartless.

Friday, September 26, 2014

ME: Please give me a sign!..


Every night
All I see it is your face
All I reach to touch – is your hands
But in my dream
All I know that someone else
Is right there with you.
Just a bed – empty without you
HOW DO I FORGET?!
But my heart is not empty without you –
I just know you will come,
I think I know!..
My hands won’t stop reaching out –
Like it’d be the first time to touch your face,
My eyes won’t sleep –
As if for the first time – every night is like this.
Every night I forget the world outside I draw you next to me - all the same
And the fear that I’ll lose you again only makes you more beautiful…

Please give me a sign!..


-------------------------------------------
This is NOT an original work - only a translation of the lyrics of an old and fav song from Bulgarian
video

ME: By tomorrow morning


It's half past one
and you're somewhere out there
anywhere but here.

It's half past one
and I'm alone here
wondering where life had gone.

It's half past one
and the night is empty
filled with the nothingness of us.

It's half past one 
and my head is spinning
full with the emptiness in sight.

It's almost two A.M.
and the house is burning
even ashes won'be left of me
by the sunrise, by tomorrow morning...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

ME: When...


When her hair is a mess
And her make up - smeared,
When her smile is broken
And her eyes - teared up…
Would you dare and love her?
Would you stick around?

When her jokes all turn gray
And her fingers are cold,
When her lips are dry
And her thoughts wander about…
Would you run away?
Or stay and love the blues away?


Sunday, June 1, 2014

ME: It's never enough


It’s too much
Or
It’s too little
It’s never enough-
Just enough to be unhappy…

Cause it being enough
Is me being happy…

And happy is hard!
Happy is brave,
Happy is content,
Happy is complete…

Happy is “you” in the others without the mask,
It’s “him” in you without the pain and the questions,
It’s  “you” in him for his and your lowest lows…


Sunday, May 18, 2014

ME: Сама ме оставете да се боря!


Сама ме оставете да се боря -
с любовите и със зверовете.
Насаме ме оставете – на мига!
Всичките безмилостно ще сборя,
Ще остана в крайна сметка пак сама.

Не ми помагайте във нищо –
не искам помощ във случаен миг!
Сама за благото си се преборих
и сама несгодите си сътворих!

Господарка съм на свойта мъка –
само тя не ме напусна през света,
не искам фалшивите ви ласки
и въздушните сълзи на съпричастността!


Saturday, March 22, 2014

ME: И вече нямам сили да вървя…


Стрелката на минутите се счупи,
А часовете си – отдавана спрях да ги броя
Светът от времето ми не се трогва,
Нито пък от моята тъга.

Часовникът отдавна спря да ми тиктака
Успокояващо-нашепващи слова,
Чувам само ударите на сърцето си
И черно-празна е нощта.

И компасът си загубих в пясъка
А дали пък не на оная църква в пепелта?
Въобще съм без късмет с стрелките,
И вече нямам сили да вървя…

Свърши ми душата и безсилна съм,
да насилвам да тече кръвта,
напълниха ми се със сълзи вените
и в нищото разтвори ми се вечността.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

ME: Mourn 2


Mourn for what I could have been without you,
Mourn for what I could've been with you
Mourn for what I am without you
Mourn for what I am with you...

Mourn for every dream I dreamed of you
Mourn for every thought I thought of you
Mourn for every tear I shed for you
Mourn for every smile I gave.

Mourn of all the moments I loved you to the bottom of my core
Mourn for all the times I hated you enough to tear your soul apart.

Mourn for all the good you gave me
Mourn for all the pain we shared
Mourn for all the times you found me
And mourn for all the times that i felt lost.

Mourn for you without me
But most of all mourn I for me, above it all...

Monday, March 3, 2014

ME: If your love could save me would you promise it


If your love could save me
would you promise it
even if it might require
never seeing me again?

If you could promise
to a God you don’t believe in,
that you’d suffer all
to redeem both our sins…

Would you promise Him your pain,
your life and all your treasures,
the life of others and the love of us
to save me so I could keep on loving you?


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

ME: Questions without answer


"And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye"
Poets of the fall - Late goodbye


If this is our last goodbye
how would you remember me?
Would you remember me at all?
In a month or two, will you recall?

If this is our last goodbye,
should I remember you?
Did you deserve remembrance,
or did you fight to find oblivion of all?

As life goes by and our world crumbles down
will you come back to my tear-filled eyes before the lights go out?
will I see your face in my sleep before my body runs out of breath
as your world turns left and mine turns right?

Will our ashes meet at the bottom of the ocean,
will our souls fly out - meeting in the clouds up high?
Will our lips, reborn on others, meet into another life,
and will all, we didn't tell each other, be spoken out to relieve the faith of another?


Thursday, January 23, 2014

ME: Done crying

"I'm done crying"
I've said that before...
one too many times...
It's a chant,
it's not a word of will anymore...
It will work one day!!!
One day I will stop
crying rivers of tears
for people who wouldn't
shed a tear for me at all!...
One day!....
Before I die!...

Friday, January 17, 2014

МЕ: Every time I'm dying


Every time I’m dying in your arms
For an embrace and for a kiss…
I can’t make it through
Anymore!

To pull you closer
And your soul runs away,
To leave you calm in ashes
And the want again to arise…

I can’t go on like this
Can’t take it anymore
It’s time to go
It’s time to leave it in the past!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

ME: Mourn


Mourn for the life.
Mourn for the death.
Mourn for the love.
Mourn for the hate...

Miss me forever.
Miss me today.
Forget all the love.
Forget all the games...

Walk away in the distance.
Walk away forever in time.
Don't return to what's not here.
Don't return to the confusion and pain...

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Ме: По пътя

Болнавите сенки се гонят небрежно
По тъмно-сивия прашен тротоар
Настигат се бавно и обратно побягват
Към бледо-призрачната светлина.

Вървя между тях и наивно си мисля,
Че те са моята компания във света
Вървя и не виждам как в тъмнина ме обгръщат
Водят ме към вечната самота.